More tranny stories later!
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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