They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
