i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
