soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
