420 ftw
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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