I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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