dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
