I need help removing her.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
