I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
