when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
