We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
