I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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