right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize