ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
She is in my trunk
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
