I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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