how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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