This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
we made out on top of his cat.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
