party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
