Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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