Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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