It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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