Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
