return my video game
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
