Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
They have beer where we have blood.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
