are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
