I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
