4 words: hood of his car
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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