I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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