I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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