Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize