I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
