You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
