You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You are the jesus of drinking
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
