She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
