There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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