there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
