This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize