If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
