My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He better not be in your backpack
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
