my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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