There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize