So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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