so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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