This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
