Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
