I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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