I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
