I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I checked into jail on foursquare
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
