I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
