Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
