so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
