im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
time to smoke my breakfast
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
