I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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