It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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