I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It's shark week go big or go home
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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