But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I hope mine doesn't look like that
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
