SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
