sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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